35 reviews by jeremy..
Wonder Boy III: The Dragons Trap

2006-02-05
From: Jeremy
Comments: 3YGU PYZ ZY7K NRR

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Simpsons Vs. Space Mutants

2005-11-27
From: jeremy
Comments: Fart on Hommers head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Ys: The Vanished Omens

2004-03-14
From: jeremy
Comments: cool game

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Dynamite Dux

2002-12-05
From: jeremy
Comments: Why does humanity seem to have such an anthropomorphic fascination with ducks? Real ducks are pretty boring, but we have endless cartoons, movies, games, etc. etc. about ducks and their wacky adventures. Mice too; mice are a close second to ducks as far as being anthropomorphized into cute cartoons. Which, you'd think, would lead to people putting down fewer moustraps. Less duck hunting too, now that I think of it. That's another thing, is this game supposed to jibe with Safari Hunt? Go on a wacky adventure with ducks in one game, blast the shit out of them in the next? I wonder if the factories that made the physical copies of this game have any involvement with companies that manufacture mousetraps or hunting supplies, and if so, I wonder how their executives can sleep at night. It seems like bad corporate strategy too, to make money off killing ducks, then spread around the idea of ducks arming themselves with high explosives. They'll be the first ones against the wall in the duck revolution. I give this game a 5 for inspiring me to write a long stupid essay without even having played it.

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Casino Games

2002-12-05
From: Jeremy
Comments: Wow, look at all the money you can't actually win. Yawn.

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Great Golf

2002-12-03
From: jeremy
Comments: Oh, great.......golf.

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Golden Axe Warrior

2002-12-02
From: jeremy
Comments: Aaarrgghh!! I really want to like this game, but the control....aarrrgghhh!!! You can't move diagonally? You've gotta be fucking kidding me!! And your character is so weak and the bad guys are so tough, it's almost impossible to go even halfway across the map without getting killed 48 times. You have to get so close to enemies to hit them that you take a hit no matter what. When they can take 5 hits and you can only take 3, that makes your odds really crappy. And evey time you die, even if you save, you lose 5 bucks? What the hell is that? I can't save enough to buy a damn thing!! I want to like this game so much, but.....shit., man. So close and yet so far - how typically Sega.

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Golden Axe Warrior

2002-12-02
From: jeremy
Comments: Aaarrgghh!! I really want to like this game, but the control....aarrrgghhh!!! You can't move diagonally? You've gotta be fucking kidding me!! And your character is so weak and the bad guys are so tough, it's almost impossible to go even halfway across the map without getting killed 48 times. You have to get so close to enemies to hit them that you take a hit no matter what. When they can take 5 hits and you can only take 3, that makes your odds really crappy. And evey time you die, even if you save, you lose 5 bucks? What the hell is that? I can't save enough to buy a damn thing!! I want to like this game so much, but.....shit., man. So close and yet so far - how typically Sega.

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Rambo: First Blood Part II

2002-11-25
From: Jeremy
Comments: Time Soldiers with no time travel. Me and my friend used to play this 2-player a lot when we were kids. Kids are dumb.

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Out Run

2002-11-25
From: Jeremy
Comments: If I liked this game and I was a loser, I'd plug the line out into my stereo and tape the music to play when I drove anywhere. But I'm not a damn dork, so I didn't do that. I taped Space Harrier instead.

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Fantasy Zone 2

2002-11-22
From: Jeremy
Comments: This game is pretty good, it's more of what made the first Fantasy Zone good, and the warp panels are cool, but I do have 2 complaints - Opa-Opa moves way too slow if you don't have a speed-up - and the sound it makes when you collect coins really grates on my ears. It's this Nintendoey CLANK! instead of the nice Ka-ching! they had in the first one.

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Mirracle Warriors

2002-11-22
From: Jeremy
Comments: I'm pretty sure there's a code that lets you get rid of that guy's mustache but I forget what it is.

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Lemmings

2002-11-22
From: Jeremy
Comments: I wish there could have been Ninja lemmings that would whip out a sword and hack through stuff, and Pirate lemmings that would, um, turn into pirates when you selected them. Then they could fight all those robot lemmings that come out in level 25, no prob!

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Space Harrier

2002-11-22
From: jeremy
Comments: If you select 7, 12, 3, 3, 20, 12, 3,4,2 in the sound test you can play as a pirate.

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Shinobi

2002-11-21
From: Jeremy
Comments: Cool game, but I wish there could've been some pirates in it. Everyone know ninjas and pirates are natural enemies, except when they team up to fight robots.

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After Burner

2002-11-21
From: Jeremy
Comments: I remember playing this game as a little kid and not knowing the cockpit moved, so when I pulled back on the stick, I thought the game was falling on top of me and I freaked out! Overall, this game could've used more ninjas.

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Reggie Jackson Baseball

2002-11-21
From: Jeremy
Comments: No pirates, no ninjas, no robots? No interest.

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Mortal Kombat 2

2002-11-21
From: jeremy
Comments: Alright, ninjas AND robots! But wheres the pirates? There were many games with either pirates, ninjas or robots. Some even had 2 out of 3, like Alex Kidd in Shinobi World and this game. But they never made a game with ninjas, pirates AND robots, and that is why they never outsold Nintendo.

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Action Fighter

2002-11-21
From: jeremy
Comments: I like the part where if you crash into that one building, all these ninjas come out, and if you pause the game and press 2,2, LEFT, UP 1,2,2, then unpause and press 1,2,1, you can get out of your car and you're a pirate, then all the ninjas take off their masks and you see they're really robots, and the only way to beat them is to use the secret medallion you get from the wizard in Level 2, that shoots this huge fireball that goes all the way up the screen and takes out all the robots, then it takes you to a special screen where you can play 4 different mini-games. Oh Sega, you've done it again!!!

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Ys: The Vanished Omens

2002-11-21
From: Jeremy
Comments: To beat the pirates in the Lost Forest, enter the secret Ninja code (up down left right, 2,2,1,1,left right left right 2).

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Alien Syndrome

2002-11-20
From: jeremy
Comments: This game was cool, but really, how many games can they make with aliens that look just like the aliens from Aliens? For that matter, how many times can I put the word "aliens" in one sentence? Three, apparently.

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Sonic the Hedgehog 2

2002-11-20
From: jeremy
Comments: This game has a really Nintendo-y feel, mostly cause of the uninspired music and lame sound effects. Whatever happened to the quirky, catchy, almost new-wavey sounding kind of tunes they used to write for games like Fantasy Zone, Quartet and Space Harrier? This music sounds like the soundtrack to the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on Nintendo.

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Time Soldiers

2002-11-20
From: jeremy
Comments: Dinosaurs and cavemen in the same era....fantastic.

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Gangster Town

2002-11-20
From: Jeremy
Comments: How many gangsters can fit in one Model-T, anyway? It's like a goddamn clownmobile.

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Fantasy Zone

2002-11-20
From: jeremy
Comments: Oops. That was my comment down there about finally beating this game. Why can't they ever program good endings to games? There's never any kind of epilogue or cutscenes or anything, just CONGRATULATIONS -YOU WIN -THE END. If they can fit two whole goddamn GAMES on one cart, surely they can fit an ending longer than 22 seconds onto a game like Fantasy Zone.

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Quartet

2002-11-19
From: jeremy
Comments: I only remember 3 things about this game: 1- it was really hard, with lots of shit flying around onscreen that you had to dodge, 2 - the music was so catchy I can still hum it 15 years later, and 3 - in the arcade version, Edgar was black, but on the Master System he's a honky! Who's in charge here, anyway?? I give the music an 8, but I have to give this attempt to keep the black man down a 1.

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Galaxy Force

2002-11-07
From: jeremy
Comments: I remember liking this game, but again, that may be cause I was a stupid little kid.

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Alex Kidd in Miracle World

2002-10-15
From: jeremy
Comments: What can I say about this game that hasn't been said already? The only thing is, it's weird how Sega could never really seem to figure out what Alex was supposed to look like, even on the box covers: he looked totally different in every single representation.

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Alex Kidd in Miracle World

2002-10-15
From: jeremy
Comments: What can I say about this game that hasn't been said already? The only thing is, it's weird how Sega could never really seem to figure out what Alex was supposed to look like, even on the box covers: he looked totally different in every single representation.

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Ghostbusters

2002-10-13
From: jeremy
Comments: You have to press the icon against the flashing buildings on the map to go trap ghosts!...I think. I played the shit out of this game like 14 years ago. I forget if I ever beat it or not but I do remember they spelled Gozer "Gorza". Huh? I played this game a lot but I can't remember if that's cause it had good playability or because I was just a stupid kid. I guess I'd give this one a 7.

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Zillion

2002-10-13
From: jeremy
Comments: This game ruled but it used to drive me crazy that you couldn't save. Come on, I don't have 3 solid days to devote to playing a video game. Also, about a year ago, out of nowhere, it suddenly dawned on me that the computer code is just that old mirror-image number code, like on the Simpsons episode where Lisa thinks she's getting stupider. 10.

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Cyborg Hunter

2002-10-13
From: jeremy
Comments: Huh, I remember this game being really hard. Uh....I guess it was pretty cool though. I remember my mom taking me to Toys 'R' Us to get it after Little League practice one day.

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Alex Kidd: the Lost Stars

2002-10-13
From: jeremy
Comments: this game was absolutely horrible, especially considering the rad game it's supposedly a sequel to. I'm really glad I borrowed this instead of buying it. Utter crap.

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Choplifter

2002-10-13
From: jeremy
Comments: I just found this game at a junk store the other day, in the box with instructions and everything! Too bad it was programmed by Satan. This is one of those games where the designers were like "Hmmm, don't want people to just finish this in a day and be done with it, maybe we should add lots of levels and interesting challenges.....nah, let's just make it impossible." Nice multiple scrolling backgrounds though, never saw anything like that on Nintenduh. I give this game a 10 for graphics and a 1 for playability, which I guess averages out to 5.

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Astro Warrior

2002-10-13
From: jeremy
Comments: First game I ever got. Good space shooter but it woulda been cool if there were more than 3 levels. And if 3 levels is really all they could manage, then come on, at least gimme a good ending...and what does "SURELY REVIVE ZANONI" mean? eh.....7 seems fair.

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